You’ve done it. You’ve packed your bags, boarded the plane, and arrived in your new home. The adventure you’ve dreamed about is finally real. But somewhere between the excitement of exploring a new city and the challenge of navigating a different culture, a quiet feeling creeps in: loneliness.
Making friends in a foreign country is one of the biggest challenges international students and expats face. It’s also one of the most important. Your new friends become your support system, your cultural guides, and the people who turn a foreign place into a home. But how do you actually do it? How do you move from polite small talk to genuine connection when everything around you is unfamiliar?
This guide is your roadmap to building a social circle in a new country. From practical strategies to mindset shifts, here’s everything you need to know about finding your people far from home.
Part 1: The Mindset Shift – Why This Feels Hard (And Why That’s Normal)
Before we dive into strategies, let’s acknowledge something important: making friends as an adult is hard anywhere. Doing it in a foreign country, in a new language, with cultural norms you don’t fully understand? That’s genuinely difficult. The fact that it feels challenging isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong—it’s a sign that you’re human.
The Common Struggles
Language barriers: Even if you’re fluent, communicating in a second language is exhausting. You miss nuances. You hesitate. You worry about sounding stupid. This makes casual conversation feel like work .
Cultural differences: What’s friendly in one culture might be overwhelming in another. In some places, inviting someone to coffee after meeting them once is normal. In others, that would be too forward. Without a cultural compass, every interaction feels like guesswork .
The comparison trap: You see other international students who seem to have found their people immediately. What’s wrong with you? (Nothing. They’re probably struggling too—they’re just better at hiding it.)
Homesickness: Missing your old friends makes you less open to new ones. Every new person feels like a pale substitute for the people who already know you completely .
The Mindset Shifts That Help
It takes time: Research suggests it takes about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, and over 200 hours to become close friends . You’re not failing because you haven’t found your people in two weeks. You’re just early in the process.
Quality over quantity: You don’t need 50 friends. You need two or three people who really get you. Focus on depth, not numbers.
Rejection isn’t personal: People will be busy. They’ll cancel. They’ll seem interested and then disappear. In a new country, you have no context for why this happens. Maybe they’re overwhelmed. Maybe they already have a full social calendar. Maybe they’re just not looking for new friends right now. It’s rarely about you.
You bring value: You’re not just a needy newcomer. You’re someone with a different perspective, interesting stories, and a genuine desire to connect. The right people will recognize that.
Part 2: The Practical Strategies – Where and How to Meet People
Okay, mindset adjusted. Now let’s get practical. Here’s where to find potential friends and how to turn those encounters into actual connections.
University-Based Opportunities
If you’re a student, your campus is the richest source of potential friends you’ll ever have.
Orientation events: Yes, they’re awkward. Yes, everyone feels like they’re back in middle school. But orientation is literally designed to help people meet. Go to everything. Talk to everyone. Exchange contact information with at least three people at each event .
Student clubs and societies: Whatever you’re into—hiking, chess, photography, debate, anime—there’s probably a club for it. Join. Show up consistently. Shared interests are friendship shortcuts .
Classmates: Sit in the same spot every day. Arrive early and chat with people around you. Form study groups. Ask if anyone wants to grab coffee after class. The person next to you is just as lonely as you are .
International student office: Many universities have specific events for international students—coffee hours, cultural nights, excursions. These are goldmines for meeting people who understand exactly what you’re going through .
Sports and fitness: Join an intramural team, a running club, or a yoga class. Physical activity releases endorphins, which make people more open to connection. Plus, you have a built-in activity to focus on, which takes pressure off conversation .
Beyond the Campus
Your social world shouldn’t end at the university gates.
Language exchanges: If you’re in a non-English speaking country, language exchanges are brilliant. You help someone with your language, they help you with theirs. You meet regularly. You have a structured reason to talk. Many cities have language exchange cafes or apps like Tandem and HelloTalk that connect you with locals .
Volunteering: Giving your time to a cause you care about puts you in contact with people who share your values. Animal shelters, food banks, environmental groups—these attract kind, community-minded people .
Part-time work: Working in a café, bar, or shop forces you to interact with coworkers and customers. The shared experience of dealing with difficult customers or closing shift chaos creates bonds fast .
Meetup.com and Eventbrite: Search for events based on your interests. Hiking groups, board game nights, book clubs, professional networking events—they’re all there. Go alone. Talk to people. Exchange numbers .
Couchsurfing events: Even if you’re not using Couchsurfing for accommodation, many cities have regular Couchsurfing meetups—pub nights, picnics, city tours. These attract travelers and locals who are explicitly open to meeting new people .
Religious or spiritual communities: If you’re religious, finding a local congregation can provide instant community. If you’re not, some people find similar connection in meditation groups or secular humanist societies .
Coworking spaces: If you’re working remotely or doing a master’s with flexible hours, coworking spaces are designed for connection. Many have regular social events .
Digital Tools for IRL Connection
Apps aren’t just for dating. Several are specifically designed for friendship.
Bumble BFF: The friendship mode of the dating app. You swipe on potential friends, match, and start chatting. It takes effort to move from app to real life, but many people have found genuine friends this way .
Friender: This app matches you based on shared interests and activities. You answer questions about what you like to do, and it connects you with people who like the same things .
MeetMyClass: Specifically for students, this app helps you find classmates and study partners .
WhatsApp and Facebook groups: Search for “[Your City] Expats,” “[Your City] International Students,” or groups related to your hobbies. People often organize meetups through these .
Part 3: The Art of the Ask – Turning Acquaintances into Friends
Meeting people is one thing. Turning them into friends is another. This is where most people get stuck.
The Invitation Ladder
Think of invitations as having different levels of intensity. Start low, and gradually increase as the relationship develops.
Level 1: The Group Invite
“I’m going to this museum exhibit on Saturday with some friends. Want to join?”
Low pressure. They’re not the only person there. If they say no, it’s not awkward.
Level 2: The Activity Invite
“There’s a free concert in the park this Friday. Would you want to check it out?”
Still activity-focused, but now it’s just the two of you. The activity gives you something to do, so there’s less pressure to keep conversation flowing constantly.
Level 3: The Casual Hangout
“I’m getting coffee near campus around 3. Want to join?”
Simple, low-commitment, easy to say yes to.
Level 4: The Meal Invite
“Want to grab dinner sometime this week?”
More intimate. More time. Save this for when you’ve already hung out a few times.
Level 5: The Home Invite
“I’m making [dish from your home country] on Sunday. Want to come over and try some?”
This is friendship-level intimacy. You’re inviting them into your space, sharing something personal.
Handling Rejection Gracefully
People will say no sometimes. They’ll be busy. They’ll forget to respond. They’ll seem interested and then disappear.
Don’t take it personally. They might be overwhelmed. They might already have full social lives. They might be dealing with their own stuff.
Don’t over-pursue. If you’ve invited someone twice and they’ve been unavailable both times, let them reach out next. If they’re interested, they will.
Keep casting a wide net. While you’re waiting for someone to become a close friend, keep meeting new people. The more connections you have, the less any single rejection stings.
The Follow-Up
You had a great conversation at an event. You exchanged numbers. Now what?
The 24-hour rule: Send a follow-up message within 24 hours. “Hey, it was really nice meeting you at the hiking club event yesterday. I had a great time talking about [topic]. If you’re ever up for another hike, let me know!”
Reference something specific: Mentioning a detail from your conversation shows you were genuinely listening and aren’t just sending a template message.
Propose a specific next step: “There’s another hike next Saturday if you want to go together.” Or, “I’ve been wanting to try that café near campus—want to grab coffee this week?”
Part 4: The International Student Experience – Unique Challenges and Opportunities
As an international student, you have advantages and disadvantages in the friendship game.
The Challenges
Language fatigue: Even if you’re fluent, socializing in a second language is exhausting. You’re constantly translating, processing, and worrying about mistakes. Give yourself permission to be tired, and don’t force yourself to be “on” all the time .
Cultural confusion: In some cultures, people are very direct about making plans. In others, “Let’s hang out sometime” is just a polite phrase that doesn’t mean anything. You’ll learn to read these signals, but it takes time .
The “local friend” gap: Many international students desperately want local friends but find it hard to break into established social circles. Locals already have their high school friends, university friends, family nearby. They’re not necessarily looking for more. This isn’t about you—it’s about their existing social saturation .
Stereotypes and assumptions: People might make assumptions about you based on your nationality. Some will be curious and welcoming. Others will be ignorant or dismissive. You don’t have to be friends with everyone .
The Opportunities
The international student community: Other international students understand exactly what you’re going through. They’re also looking for friends. Some of your deepest friendships might be with people from other countries who are navigating the same challenges .
Curiosity factor: Many locals are genuinely interested in learning about other cultures. Your different perspective is an asset, not a liability. People who are curious about the world will be drawn to you .
The shared experience: Going through something difficult together creates bonds fast. The struggles of navigating a new country, dealing with bureaucracy, and figuring out cultural norms become shared stories that connect you to others on the same journey .
Part 5: The Long Game – Building a Social Life Over Time
Making friends isn’t a one-time project. It’s an ongoing process of showing up, being open, and letting connections develop naturally.
Consistency Matters
The people who become your friends are the ones you see regularly. That’s why classes, clubs, and recurring events are so valuable. The more you show up, the more you become a familiar face. Familiarity breeds comfort. Comfort breeds friendship.
Be the Initiator
In a new place, everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. Be that someone. Invite people to things. Create group chats. Organize outings. Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, you might get rejected sometimes. But being the person who makes things happen means you’re never waiting around for an invitation that might not come.
Accept That Some Friendships Are Temporary
Some of the people you meet will be friends for a season. They’ll study abroad for a semester and leave. They’ll graduate and move away. That’s okay. Those friendships are still real and valuable. They still matter. And they prepare you for the ones that last.
Keep Your Old Friends Too
Making new friends doesn’t mean abandoning old ones. Schedule calls with people back home. Share what you’re going through. They can’t replace the physical presence you need, but they can remind you that you’re loved and capable of connection—which gives you confidence to keep trying.
Part 6: Red Flags and Boundaries
Not everyone you meet deserves your friendship. Watch out for:
The taker: Someone who only contacts you when they need something—help with homework, a place to stay, someone to complain to. Friendship should be reciprocal.
The constant complainer: Every conversation is negative. Everything is terrible. They drain your energy instead of replenishing it.
The unreliable one: Always cancels last minute, never initiates, takes forever to respond. If someone consistently shows you they don’t prioritize you, believe them.
The cultural exploiter: Some people collect international friends like exotic pets. They’re interested in your “otherness” but not in you as a person. You’ll feel it.
Trust your gut. If something feels off about a person, you don’t need to justify it. You can be polite and keep your distance while you keep looking for your people.
Part 7: When It’s Really Hard – Dealing with Loneliness
Despite your best efforts, there will be lonely days. Weekends when everyone seems busy. Evenings when you scroll through photos of friends back home having fun without you. Holidays that feel especially empty.
Loneliness is not failure. It’s a signal that you’re human and you need connection. It doesn’t mean you’re unlikeable or that you’ll never find friends. It means you’re in transition, and transitions are hard.
What helps:
- Acknowledge the feeling: “I’m lonely right now. This is hard.” Naming it reduces its power.
- Reach out: Text someone—anyone. A classmate, a family member, an old friend. Connection, even digital, helps.
- Do something kind for yourself: Cook a comforting meal from home. Watch a favorite movie. Take a long walk. You deserve care, especially when you’re struggling.
- Keep showing up: The only way out is through. Keep going to events. Keep inviting people. Keep being open. The loneliness won’t last forever.
Part 8: Success Stories – Real People Who Made It Work
Maria from Brazil arrived in London knowing no one. She joined a running club, went to every meeting for three months, and now has a group of five close friends who run together every weekend and grab brunch after.
Ahmed from Egypt struggled for his first semester. He felt invisible. Then he started volunteering at a local food bank. The regulars there—retirees, other volunteers, people just trying to help—became his community. “They don’t care that my English isn’t perfect,” he says. “They care that I show up.”
Yuki from Japan met her best friend in a language exchange. They met weekly—one hour English, one hour Japanese. Two years later, they’ve traveled to three countries together and consider each other family.
Priya from India found her people through a cooking exchange. She invited classmates over to learn how to make Indian food. They loved it. Now it’s a monthly tradition, with different people hosting and teaching dishes from their cultures.
These stories have one thing in common: consistent presence in a shared activity. They didn’t find friends by being charming at a single party. They found them by showing up, again and again, until showing up felt like coming home.
Conclusion: Your People Are Out There
Making friends in a foreign country is one of the hardest things you’ll do. It’s also one of the most rewarding. The friends you make here—the ones who saw you at your most vulnerable, who helped you navigate a new culture, who laughed with you through the confusion—will be friends for life.
The key is to keep going. Keep showing up. Keep being curious about other people. Keep inviting, even when it’s scary. Keep believing that your people exist, because they do. They’re out there, right now, also hoping to meet someone like you.
Your new life is waiting. Go find your people.